Thoughtful Gifts for a Friend Going Through a Hard Time (That Aren’t Another Candle)

I make gifts for a living. I’ve been doing it for nine years, first out of two brick and mortar shops in Tucson, now from my apartment in Chicago with two large dogs underfoot and a shipping station that takes up half the guest room.

So when a friend is going through something hard...a loss, a breakup, burnout, a stretch where nothing is technically wrong but everything feels heavy, I take the gift part seriously. Not because a present fixes anything. But because the right one says: I see you, I’m here, and I didn’t just grab the first thing on Amazon.

Here’s what I actually reach for when it comes to thoughtful gifts. No filler or affiliate links. Just the stuff I’ve given with my own hands (or shipped with a handwritten note from our studio).

1. A Little Lift Card Deck

Okay, yes—this one’s mine. I made it. But I made it because of this exact situation.

A Little Lift is a deck of 50 cards, each with one small, real-world action. Things like: invite someone to connect over a meal. Leave a positive review for a small business you love. Stock a local community fridge. Get outside and stand in the sun for a few minutes.

It’s not a self-help book. It’s not a journal with prompts about your inner child. It’s a stack of doable things that get you out of your head and into the world a little bit, even on the days when that feels impossible.

I built this for the friend who says “I want to do something but I don’t know where to start.” Pick a card. Do the thing. That’s it. $28 and it ships from Chicago with a handwritten note if you want one.

Shop A Little Lift →

2. A Really Good Card (No, Really)

I know. “Just send a card” sounds like the bare minimum. But a good card – one that’s specific, well-designed, and says something real – hits different than a text. It stays on the counter for weeks. It gets propped up next to the coffee maker. I’ve been designing greeting cards for nearly a decade and I still believe a piece of mail can shift someone’s whole day.

If you don’t know what to write, keep it simple: “Thinking about you. No need to respond.” That’s enough.

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3. A Meal They Don’t Have to Cook

When someone is in the thick of it, cooking is usually the first thing to go. A meal delivery– or even better, a homemade one dropped off without expectations – is one of the most practical thoughtful gifts you can give. I’m not going to recommend a specific meal kit because it depends on where they live, but I will say: soup travels well, and nobody has ever been sad to receive soup.

4. A Book They Can Actually Get Through

Skip the dense self-help. When someone’s overwhelmed, a 400-page book about optimizing their mindset is going to collect dust. Go for something short, funny, or genuinely comforting. A slim essay collection. A beautiful cookbook they can flip through in bed. A novel you read recently and loved.

5. Something for Their Hands

When your brain won’t quiet down, having something to do with your hands helps. A puzzle. An embroidery kit. A really good pen and a blank notebook. This is the category where I’d also include A Little Lift, actually...pulling a card and doing the small action on it gives you something concrete to focus on when everything else feels abstract and big.

6. A Plant (A Hard-to-Kill One)

Keeping something alive when you’re barely keeping yourself alive might sound like a cruel joke, but hear me out: a pothos or a snake plant requires almost nothing, and there’s something grounding about watching a living thing quietly thrive in the corner of your room. It’s a small vote of confidence. “You can handle this.”

What I’d Skip

Bath bombs. (They’re fine. They’re just not a gift that says much.) Generic “self-care” kits with lavender everything. Gift cards with no note attached. Anything that requires them to leave the house if they’re not up for it.

The best thoughtful gift for a friend going through a hard time is whatever tells them: I thought about you specifically. Not “someone who’s sad.” You.

A Little Lift is a 50-card deck of small, real-world actions designed for exactly these moments.

Shop A Little Lift →